Self care is indeed important! But don’t become SELFISH in the process of loving you!
STARTING THE JOURNEY
You start to feel good about your accomplishments when taking care of yourself, and this is a normal feeling to have. But somewhere along the journey, most people become lovers of themselves only! FORSAKING ALL OTHERS…
My only goal was to “work on me”. I never knew that i would hurt others in the process.
The last few months had been rough for me, and i wasn’t a person who dealt with stress very well. This kept me worrying about things all the time, letting the smallest of things bother me. So i decided it was time for me to have a little TLC (Tender Love & Care) Time! It was time to focus on my inner issues such as all the hurts, pains, mental issues etc. This was a vital step and so i began to give myself weekly check ups.
Some questions i would ask were; How do you think your week went? Why are you so irritable today? Whats bothering you today? As crazy as it sounds, this actually helped me to tap into my emotions. Questions helped me to understand my moods much better than before. Keep in mind this nugget: To truly heal from pain and suffering one must be honest with self!
BREAKING BAD HABITS
Sometimes my reality and truth hurt to admit but i did it anyway. I realized i had created a positive pattern (Habit) that helped me to get better.
*In order to break bad habits we must replace them with good habits. (Anything you do for more than 21 consecutive days, becomes a habit.)
Everything is All Good when things are All Good. But still, after my high wave of “I’m feeling myself” something on the inside was still bothering me. And it was weighing on me heavy! I found myself crying for no reason at all. Or at least i thought it was for no reason. I couldn’t understand where these feelings were coming from. So i began to process everything over in my head. “My body is in good health, affirmations are read daily, making my own money, check! What more could i need? And suddenly it clicked.
I began to think about where i was! And In the middle of me taking care of myself i realized that i had forgotten to keep God in the center of it all. I forgot that he is the source of my strength and my life and without Him, i am nothing! So, the answers began to unravel even more as i discovered the truth. Here I am all the way in another state, separated from my husband who i planned on divorcing. All because i couldn’t handle stress and i wanted to take the easy way out! Of course i felt absolutely terrible about the choices i was making. But now i understood my feelings entirely. I realized i’d been trying to live life without two of the most important men in my life. But why wasn’t i able to recognize this in the beginning?
When you become a lover of yourself, it is easy to forget about others. You start to convince yourself that you can “do bad all by yourself”. And as true as that statement actually is, you must not get wrapped up in self. So you began to slowly forsake others not realizing that you are shutting everyone out completely because now instead of you taking care of self in order to heal. You have become SELFISH!
Generally this happens because we want to protect the ourselves, and so we don’t want anything or anyone to take that away from the false emotion of “being OK” but when we push our love ones away, in the end we are hurting ourselves all over again. And trust me when i say, being selfish puts you in such a lonely place! But you choose to go this route. Never let anything you are facing make you feel that you need to be alone because that is the worse thing you can ever do. Sometimes we need space, YES! But don’t stay alone all the time. Isolation makes it easier for depression, and negative thoughts to creep in your mind. And that leads you in the opposite direction of self care!
OWN UP TO IT!
Because of my actions, and choices my life took a complete turn for the worse. But! Many great things came out of it. And although i am still trusting God for restoration i am thankful to God that it had to come to this point. Now i know you may be thinking, “that doesn’t make any sense! if you want your marriage to work then why are you happy everything happened”?
Well i’ll tell you. This situation has allowed me to reflect on myself as well as my entire life! It has opened my eyes to see all the wrong i had ever done. This was truly a God sent wake up call for me. Finally, realized how selfish i had become and i made everything about me! I couldn’t see that i was hurting others around me! I did not think of anyone else but myself. And now i am facing those consequences.
LESSON IN THE MISTAKE
Life can either make you or break you. Always remember you have a choice. You can choose to learn from your mistakes or continue to live foolishly hurting you and everyone else. Sometimes we need to step back and really examine our own lives. Make sure you are not caught up in trying to fix another persons life, that you can’t see it is yours that truly needs fixing. As for me! I know that i need God to make it. He gives me strength to handle any and everything and that is what i choose to believe. I offer that gift to you today!
You need something positive to hold on to so i strongly urge you to try Jesus! It is easy to invite him into your life. The bible say’s in Romans 10:9 ” that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved”. So all it takes is for you to say out of your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and invite him in your heart, and you are saved.
Many run away from this truth because they fear punishment from God, or that they can’t be perfect. But God isn’t asking you to be perfect. You may even ask, why do i need Jesus? My answer to you today is simple; “Jesus is the only one that has made me feel full, and has given me an everlasting joy”! Even if i am having a hard time or i’m sad or stressed about something, he knows how to make me feel joy again. You see money, and material things don’t bring you eternal happiness! That only lasts for a little while. But Jesus, He gives you a peace that you can’t understand.
So even if you have struggles you have this peace that everything will be OK, because of God. I have tried to cope with stress with many things. My biggest struggle was alcohol. I’ve also tried seeing counselors and trying to get through things on my own, but i can say with confidence that nothing or no one has given me healing results like God has. So i encourage you to try him today.
Self care is a great thing but make sure you don’t become selfish in the process.
TIPS TO HELP YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY
1. Keep God first
2. Pray in the process (ask God for strength)
3. Surround yourself with godly, loving people
4. Examine yourself and don’t worry about what others do
5. Replace bad habits with good ones
6. Understand that you are not perfect
7. Speak that all things are possible with God
8. Don’t speak negative things about yourself, only positive. Your words are powerful.
9. Read what the bible say’s about who you are
10. Never give up or give in! You cant quit.
*There is always someone who is going through the same things we are. So remember your story can help save another person. Because if you are still living through everything you are going through then you can be a help to someone else by sharing what you do to get through it. Or simply encourage another with positive words.
DON’T STOP, or GIVE UP. YOU GOT THIS.
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